The Wonderful World of Vending Machines

Have you ever found yourself walking around thinking Hey! I’d just love a pizza right now!?? Well, you’re in luck!

Granted, you were probably in luck anyway, pizza places are easy to find just about everywhere. But now! Now you can fullfil your lifelong dream of watching a pizza made to order, entirely by machine, in under 5 minutes.

Surely I can’t be the only one who thinks this is kind of crazy, right? Perhaps it’s because when I think of vending machines all I see are chips, chocolate bars and a variety of bottled beverages. If you’re lucky you can find hot coffee, a questionable sandwich or even, at a fancy (but not too fancy) hotel, pancakes!

So I’m sure you can imagine my surprise when I discovered not one, but TWO different companies that offer ready to go pizza at the touch of a button! I’ve not actually seen one in real life, so maybe they’re the unicorns of the instant food industry.. but that’s ok, because while looking into these pizza vending machines I discovered a whole wide world of crazy new options. So without further ado, here are some things you can get from vending machines:

Weird Food Vending Machines

1. Raw milk
   • This is available in a bunch of countries around Europe (over 1000 in Italy alone), and apparently some even moo for added authenticity
   • While raw, unpasteurized milk is considered dangerous to our health, many, if not all, of these vending machines use UV lights to sterilize the milk
2. Live hairy crabs, a delicacy, apparently
   • This Chinese vending machine upsets me a bit, as the poor crabs are stuck in individually wrapped packages, while the vending machine moderates temperature and humidity to keep them alive
   • The crabs come with condiments to ensure maximum enjoyment… for some, I suppose
3. Fresh lettuce
   • Admittedly this sounds a little gross; all I can picture is brown, wilted, slimy lettuce… But I’m wrong!
   • This giant vending machine in Japan actually grows the fresh lettuce, up to 60 heads each day!!
   • This is the future people! (even though the future is likely neither especially healthy nor environmentally friendly)

Random Stuff Vending Machines

1. Umbrellas
   • These are actually pretty common! And a great idea. I think we’ve all found ourselves caught without an umbrella at some point. Despite the fact that the internet claims they’re everywhere, I’ve never actually seen one..
2. Marijuana
   • Don’t get your hopes up just yet! These vending machines only work with special medical marijuana cards, and certainly can’t be found everywhere
   • With a prescription for medical marijuana, you can potentially buy pot from a vending machine in several Canadian/American states and provinces
3. Porn
   • If I’m being completely honest, this one doesn’t surprise me too much.. Though with the internets being what they are, I can’t imagine the porn vending machine business has a long life expectancy
4. Used underwear
   • This is soooooo icky!
   • Most of this stuff can be found in Japan, and this is no different; in fact, it could very well be the only place you can buy used women’s underwear on the go. I’m grateful for this fact.
   • Information is limited (unless you’ve actually purchased used underwear, which I’m happy to say I have not), but apparently each pair is individually wrapped, just like the live crabs. I wonder if these ones are humidity controlled?
   • I really grossed myself out there, but I’m leaving it

Actually Pretty Awesome Vending Machines

1. Stray cat and dog feeder
   • This is so awesome, especially in cities where stray animals are found in abundance
   • For example, Istanbul, where this was developed, which is home to an estimated 150,000 stray dogs and cats
   • Basically, the machine dispenses food and water when you put in plastic bottles
   • Feeding the animals AND saving the environment = WIN! I’m quite impressed with this one 🙂
2. Clean water
   • Another one that is pretty fantastic, these water ‘ATMs’ are found in Nairobi, Kenya
   • Residents add credit to a smart card which, when presented at the ATM, dispenses fresh, clean, reasonably priced water
   • Check out this article for more about why this is cool

Bonus Fun Fact – The Very First Vending Machine

Holy water!

Seriously! Centuries before you could pick up your live crabs, fresh head of lettuce and used underwear straight from machines, people could purchase holy water to bless themselves. Way back in the first century A.D., Hero of Alexandria developed a system that would dispense holy water when a coin was deposited. Click here to learn more about this cool invention and a couple others.